Going on a Tolerations Hunt
I’m not afraid…
With my spidey senses on high alert with regard to tolerations (see what precipitated all of this awareness here), I’ve caught myself in the act of tolerating negative situations many times in the last many days. Two immediate observations: I tolerate a great deal, and interestingly, some tolerations have positive components.
To recap, tolerations can zap our energy in a quick hurry and distract us from more important endeavors. Most of us just go about our days, enduring all sorts of energy suckers, and do absolutely nothing about them. But we can grow our awareness of what we are tolerating and proactively choose to modify, reduce or eliminate those things that simply don’t serve us well.
We all will have very different lists of tolerations. In fact, it’s an excellent exercise to make a list of tolerations; just the experience of writing them down will result in increased awareness and a desire to take positive action. As I recently experienced, the peace and calm that emerged from eliminating a significant toleration was inspiring to say the least.
So I have been going on a tolerations hunt. This reminds me of the old nursery rhyme: Going on a lion hunt. I’m not afraid…”
Many of my tolerations involve the wasting of time, an enormous pet peeve, and true for so many people. Time in traffic. Time in lines. Time on hold on the phone, with hideous screeching music that is supposed to calm us down but actually riles us up. Time being bored and time being overworked. Time worrying. Usually, I am highly aware of the toleration but not able to do anything about it; the negative energy roars to the surface. But I am surprised at how many times I’m not aware at all. Frustration is swimming internally somewhere, inflicting its angst, and I’m clueless.
Noise has become a toleration lately. Perhaps it has something to do with spending more time in quiet northern woods, but the dull roar of traffic and the raucous sounds of alarms, ambulances and other alerts harsh my mellow. Then there’s the “noise” of our political world, the news, social media and the like. No matter what our persuasions, I believe most of us simply have had enough. I constantly face the battle of wanting to know what’s going on in our world and desperately needing to avoid the non-stop negativity of the news. But I find it worth the effort to reduce this source of noise.
Then there’s a category of tolerations where we feel we have no control or influence. Examples include the weather, a sudden injury or illness, a difficult encounter, an unexpected visitor — the list goes on and on. These fall in the “life happens” category, and well, life happens. But we can choose to not get all grumpy about those difficult life moments, resulting in the oozing of negative energy. In other words, we choose not to tolerate our negative reaction to the situation, instead choosing to just let it go.
There are plenty more, but one that is very important — perhaps most important of all — is what we tolerate from our minds. I remain absolutely gob-smacked by how my mind can torture me. Worries, fears, negative self-criticism, judgments, observations, non-stop nasty talk. One book I’m reading right now refers to the mind as a parasite, suggesting that the heart is a far better ally. If we want to live a better life, ceasing to tolerate the negative speak from the mind is a fine goal indeed.
So how to deal with all these tolerations. I had an insightful experience this week as I finally addressed the (minor) toleration of a really, really dirty car by going to the car wash. How I put up with that mess for so long is an interesting reflection for sure. After the sweaty work of vacuuming a disgusting interior and waiting in line for the pay machines to be rebooted, into the car wash I went. I put my car in neutral as instructed and quietly moved through the washing process, much like a peaceful Disney ride (one that does not include reptitions of “It’s a Small World After All”). The rainbow colors of the soaps inspired, as did the smell of clean. It was a two-minute respite that mattered more than the irritations that preceded it. Wow, I thought to myself, I sure can tolerate that.
I’m on a tolerations hunt and I’ve found plenty of these nasty pests. And I’m not afraid. So make that list of tolerations and tackle them one by one. The release of negative energy and the emergence of a sense of peace are well worth the effort.
